It is a rare occurrence, they said. Might never happen to you in your career. Well, while this may be true generally speaking, there is of course always the exception to the rule … and in this case one of the exceptions was me. Exiting the motorway I approached a busy intersection in the town I was working and living in. From afar I could see that something was going on: At the holding line in front of the traffic lights there were only two or maybe three cars standing side by side … and in between people were standing or kneeling on the ground. As I got closer the words „Oh shit“ crossed my mouth, a phrase I almost never use since I generally don‘t curse. But in this situation those words just slipped out: On the floor a single man was doing CPR on a young child, maybe three or four years of age. Without thinking I stopped the car close to the scene entirely blocking the right side of the intersection in the process. I did not care! Everything then happened so fast: You just function. You recapitulate the training you have received as an EMT and just function.
Now – a couple of days later – I have relived this situation so many times in my head. On the one hand this is due to the fact that I want to learn from every situation in my life so that I can do a better job next time. On the other hand such an event is also something which deeply touches your soul, and therefore you relive it in your thoughts again and again. And since I have relived this situation so many times by now I can recall it to the tiniest detail: I remember the face of the boy with his eyes and mouth half open. I remember the other guy counting the 15 thorax compressions until it was my turn for the mouth to mouth ventilation. I remember asking whether or not 911 had been called. I remember asking the mother what had happened while she was repeating over and over again the word „please … please … please“. I remember praying … or better said speaking to the boy “In the name of Jesus, you will live and not die”. I remember hearing from afar the sirens approaching. I remember seeing the black boots and yellow-red pants of the medical personal as the other guy and I continued to do our best to get oxygen in and around this lifeless body. I remember the emergency doctor giving commands to the medical personal. I remember carrying the boy with a paramedic into the ambulance, placing him on the stretcher, and I remember asking whether or not I could be of further assistance. I remember. And then – finally – I remember the entire weight of the situation hitting me as I turned my back to the ambulance to walk back to my car. What had just happened? Five minutes ago my life was different.
being grateful
I am not the type of guy that tears up quickly but I still get close to it writing down these memories. For two main reasons: On the one hand I am grateful. I am grateful that I could be there, trying to save somebody else’s life … which is a miracle in itself since I was supposed to be somewhere else that particular day. I am grateful that in all my 34 years of age I had just receive the training to do CPR on a child a couple of months earlier. I am grateful that my efforts and the efforts of the other guy were noticed and appreciated by the medical personal on scene. Appreciation, something which is not for granted in our days and which I have seldom experienced in my prior work life as an engineer. I am grateful for the fact that the kid survived! I am grateful that later that particular day I received a phone call from my company relaying a message from the emergency doctor to me that the kid had actually made it and that without our efforts the kid would have certainly died. Sitting in my car receiving this message you could have offered me the world in exchange for that kids life: The nicest car, the best house, you name it … all irrelevant and ridiculous compared to a human life. I am grateful for a day with all the worries in my life just disappearing. And I am grateful that all of this is really true. Not just a dream, not just a made up thing. I am particularly grateful about this because I am a very skeptical person: I doubt a lot. After having walked on the clouds for a couple of hours after receiving the message that the kid had survived, doubts entered my mind: Maybe the doctor having seen me leaving the scene close to tears just wanted to cheer me up while the kid had in fact died. Maybe these wonderful news were just too good to be true. But two days later it was confirmed to me, it was really true: The kid had made it. So, I am grateful, grateful beyond words.
being sad
On the other hand this entire situation made me sad. Reliving this event in my thoughts again and again and also trying to get it into the context of life, I remembered something I had heard during EMT training … and which has been confirmed to me from an independent source since then: While in the past people were told (e.g. in first aid courses) to do CPR (Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation) on a lifeless body … including thorax compression and mouth to mouth ventilation, today people are told to “at least do the compressions”. The reasons for that is twofold: On the one hand medical, on the other hand human. On the one hand the compressions are the more important part in CPR since it circulates the oxygen which still remains in the patients’ blood. Therefore this oxygen will sustain the patient for several more minutes until – hopefully – help arrives. But – of course – additional ventilation would even further increase the survivability of that person especially when professional help is delayed. That is the medical reason. On the other hand this more or less official guideline of “at least do the compressions” is supposed to also account for the so called “disgusting factor”. People out there are sometimes not willing to do mouth to mouth ventilation since it is too disgusting, too gross for them. And since that might lead to people not getting involved in resuscitation at all, this new more or less official guideline is sometimes taught today.
To a certain degree I can understand this human factor: There are more pleasant things to do with your mouth than to put it on another person’s mouth which is full of spit threads and possibly even the remains of vomit. But: Isn’t there a life at stake? Why wouldn‘t anyone do anything to improve the chances of a person to survive? For me this more or less official guideline for resuscitations is an indicator for how far we as humanity have fallen. That there are really people out there who are so caught up in there comfort zone that they would rather leave a person hanging between life and death than to get dirty. That they would rather leave a person hanging between life and death than to expose themselves to the (off-chance) risk that they might get sick by an infectious disease. What has happened to us? Has it always been this way or have we “evolved” in this “higher” state of being in which we have become immune for other people’s needs and sufferings?
being hopeful
Since I don’t want to be a person that just laments and points out tragic developments in society, I would like to propose THE solution which I deem to be the right one, the only one to get us out of this mess. Before we get to this proposed solution let me tell you a short story about a young guy, maybe 16 or 17 or 18 years of age. True story: Imagine that guy on a cold evening sitting at a warm campfire out in the fields with several other people. Imagine an older man approaching that young guy asking for help in getting more firewood to the place. And then imagine that young guy first responding with: “No!”, thinking why exactly he should be the one out of the group to do this … before at some point realizing what an egocentric moron he had just demonstrated to be.
You can certainly imagine this scene and you can certainly guess that this young guy in the story was me. I was the young egocentric moron in this story. And you can certainly also see that something has changed over time. Out of a young guy who was too comfortable to get up from a warm fire to help in sustaining that very same fire that was warming him, a guy has become who just 10 seconds after realizing that a child was dying is doing his first mouth to mouth ventilation … which is also not exactly his comfort zone by the way. So, what has changed? What has happened to this young egocentric moron? Some might say: “Well, just the normal process of growing up.” My answer to that: “Take a look around. There are many, many people older than 34 and they are still not grown up!” Some might say: “Well, this guy has just evolved into a better, more spiritual version of himself by meditation, soul searching, reading books about philosophy and religion, learning about improving your karma etc.” My answer to that would be: “Nooooooo, certainly not! There are people out there who have done so … and who might have a certain amount of head knowledge … but still the enemy inside remains. The enemy which says: ‘Me first … and then me … and if something is left over then maybe others as well …'” So, what is it then? “What has changed you?” Well, I can tell you that it is nothing that I have done to myself. That I have worked hard on myself to become a better version of myself. What has happened to me is a heart transplant. Not a physical one which is performed in a hospital, but a spiritual one:
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”
Ezekiel 36:26 [NIV]
While those words were spoken to a particular nation through the prophet Ezekiel (cha. 36:26) thousands of years ago, millions of born again Christians worldwide can testify to the fact that this heart transplant is accessible not just for the people of Israel but for every human being on this planet today. There is no list where you have to sign up and wait in line until it is finally your turn. And … the best part: It is not for sale. It is for free! It is available right here, right now for everyone who is willing.
What then is meant by those “decrees” and “laws” that God is talking about through the prophet Ezekiel? Matthew gives us the answer in cha. 22 in his account of the Gospel:
“ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Matthew 22:35-40 [NIV]
Jesus says that “all the Law and the prophets hang on these two commandments”: Love God – above all – and love your neighbor as yourself. And this “neighbor” is not just limited to the person rooming next to the place you are living in: This “neighbor” changes every moment of the day to the person next to you. What does this mean to love somebody “as yourself”? It means that you treat somebody else the same way you would like to be treated. You like to be treated with dignity? Treat others with dignity! You like to be helped if you are in need? Help others if they are in need! You like to be served if necessary? Serve others! You like to be loved? Love others! And this love – as the apostle Paul writes in Romans 5:5 – is “poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Past tense: Already 2,000 years ago the Holy Spirit “has been given” to those who asked for it, and it is given to those who ask for it today.
I believe that this is true. That this world could be a different place, a better place than the one we experience today. I believe that one day more or less official guidelines like “at least do the compressions” will be obsolete since anybody would be willing to do anything to help and love their neighbor, regardless whether or not that person is young or old, male or female, black or white, neat or messy. And since this is not something which can be commanded from the top down, we as society have to change from the “bottom” up. Not by changing ourselves but by being changed, transformed from the inside out through a heart transplant that we willingly accept. We don’t need more distance among each other, no masks hiding our faces. We don’t need vaccinations, we don’t need to be locked down in our homes so we can be “safe” from each other. What we really need is a new heart! Somebody who replaces our “heart of stone” and gives us a “heart of flesh”. I believe this to be the only solution to the real problems we face in the world today: Real problems like war, like hunger, oppression, injustice, … . Those real problems are symptoms of a “heart of stone”. What we need is a heart transplant … and it can happen right here, right now. Through repentance from our evil ways and faith in the name that is above every other name: Jesus! This is one of the few things I know for certain. This is one of the few things I do not doubt about, and this is what I can confidently testify about … since it has happened to me and therefore it can happen to you as well.
